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  • Monique Huizar

Short Term Pain


Choices are image driven. We all want to be well liked and we make decisions on how best to gain approval from others. This is based on our self-created perception. Yet, experience has taught me that too many life-outcomes are dictated by external forces that are irrelevant to our perception. We can't guarantee that we'll be accepted nor that we'll get the results we aim for. I had to stand back and ask myself if my perception of a good-girl that I'd always imagined was able to succeed at everything, was simply a myth. It was then that I thought that between a bad-girl-image and a good-girl-image, I was doing me a huge disfavor and staying behind. I decided that I would rather have a negative image that I can claim ownership for than a positive image another person takes credit for. It's funny how that works.

Bigotry is rampant. We live in a jungle of competing ego's each in its quest to carve out a little piece of what we know as reality and which leaves some as some form of slaves to the bullies. When a power trip takes on a whole new level, a bigots dominance can be savage. In the workforce you'll hear things like cut-throat, and bull-dozing over people, to legitimize the unwanted abuse towards people that are not their to start World War III, but rather to actually work. It starts subtly, starting politely with a light knock on your desk, validations for so called meetings of the mind and beasts growing on you. As if common parlance.

But it doesn't stop there. No, for the corporate beast its important to unplug you from the incubator and watch you squirm like a baby - just another distasteful expression attained in the corporate world as if another job skill. Too bad for the beast because God has plans for me that requires my full self-determined will to keep my integrity intact. Thus, while my good-girl image may never pay-off, I refuse to react like an animal molded in the beasts image.

When I went through the extreme inner turmoil in 2011, brought on by an incessant effort by the beast to entice me towards self-destruction, it was only my Faith in God that kept my Soul alive and thriving. My Faith demands that I not be afraid of those that can kill the body but of those that can kill the soul (note 1). That single Bible passage alone restores me to normality after the storm has passed leaving no trace of turbulence, but instead much fortitude in my convictions. Rather than to focus on injustices, aggression, and the violence that ensues, I remain focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. In the event that supernatural forces can have a physical bearing on shaping your attitudes and mentality, what kind of spirit would have to pull out dirty gimmicks to advance their agenda to your detriment? Probably the same kind of spirit found in those scummy people that act in that beastly spirit.

Short term pain is a sacrifice that calls for audacious behavior. These days, just like you can expect from a bad-girl. I had to learn the hard way but I'm glad I did because my personal growth is strictly built on concrete and justified consequential. The Golden Rule remains my basic philosophy. Just like I could never garner the nerve to make ridiculous demands over anyone, whether out of reverence or sheer fear, I could never concede to anyone that expects less of me than who I am and what I stand for. It's called reciprocity (note 2).

The more audacious, the bigger the sacrifice of my good-girl image and the bigger the bad-girl I am, the better. Who would've thought. I'm so bad-ass, that my objective is to take ownership of my hard earned work and self-driven effort no matter how fiercely I have to guard myself. I guess I figure what a shame it would be to take one step forward only to be expected to take two steps backward because that would be the good-girl thing to do - live in the shadows of our oppressors and willingly so. I'm taking a pass. On the other hand, I think to myself what a disgrace it would be to the woman that came before me to grant me my modern era rights and liberties. What about our economic advancement from a socialist waste land towards a merit based capitalist society. If we didn't have a merit based system and people - yes, including women - to hold one another accountable, everyone would simply resort to underhanded routes to get ahead. Meriting our accomplishments is further an homage to God at the tribulation. If we have nothing to show for the gift of life granted to us by taking ownership of ourselves, it would rather be more like deprecating that which was lovingly given to us and which many times we selfishly may have enjoyed (note 3).

Do what you can to keep your soul alive, pure, and luminous. Then, feel free to claim the rewards earned from your struggles even if at the expense of your comforts. Be audacious and remember the words of wisdom from Dr. Seuss: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." Maybe you won't get wealthy, maybe you will, but you certainly won't end up in a deficit (note 4). Moreover, we ought to build our treasures in heaven for that's where our hearts' lay. Short term pain, eternal gain!

See passages:

1) Matthew 10:28, Courage under Persecution

2) Matthew 10:34, Jesus: A Cause of Division

3) Matthew 25:14-30, The Parable of the Talents

4) Matthew 6:25-34


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